butt crack devistation

I've been avoiding looking at my butt hole that the doctor so kindly sewed up as part of my surgery. I always thought it was going to be done from the inside only and I was too afraid to research what was going to really happen. I noticed it of course when I took my first shower in the hospital and it has all lumpy. I thought at first that it was normal since there were stitches, but the stitches are gone and there is still a lump there (kinda like a rod) and I'm not happy. Doc says it can be fixed to not be such a big bump, but I really don't want it cut again. Argggg...what should I do? Any suggestions???