Rough Day

I don't know what happened today, but i've been hurting all day. It started at 5am and hasn't let up. I didn't eat anything unusual so i'm really confused. My stoma hasn't stopped moving all day and my pouch has felt full all day long. It almost feels like it was cramping and heavy. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a much better day.

I was down to intubating 3 x's a day and feeling really good and I'm sure I will get back to that, but it's just so random to feel this way. I can't believe I made it through my day at work, but I did leave earlier than normal and have intubated 4 x's already today. Now I'm just going to try and wind down and relax tonight. It's windy and cold today and I'm going to enjoy curling up on the couch with my boys and watching some tv.

Kids & More

Normally I don't post about my kids, but I just have to. Last night was their first major gig and they were FANTASTIC! I could not have been prouder of them. I was just glad I was finally able to get past the body aches I suffered from for the majority of the day. I got up at 5:45 to get ready for training (week 3) and felt fine...walked 3 miles...went to our team breakfast and headed home. Not sure what happened but the minute I walked in the door my entire body started aching. Took an hour nap and still didn't feel any better. Some advil, hot shower and a few hours later I was finally feeling well enough to feel confident I could be there for the kids. Not sure where this is all coming from. Seems like I get one thing under control and something else comes up. All in all I can't really complain...it could be much worse. Today I felt great...a little sleepy from the late night, but no aches. I gotta be 100% to be a cool rocker mom :)

Lettuce

So I tried eating lettuce on Sunday with my hamburger and I didn't have any problems. Of course I ate just a little to test it out, but now I'm ready to try a salad and see what happens. I'm starting to find it fun to try new foods now. Really at the end of the day what is going to happen...get caught in the tube...I can handle that. I loved Les's approach...eat everything which is exactly what I did with my Jpouch and then I would say.."i'll just pay for it later" which is probably what I will do eventually. Actually I already do it with avocado. I just realized that I'm beyond happy with my pouch. Just like when I had my first Jpouch. If you could see the smile on my face right now :) KP life is good!

KP Lunch

Fantastic day today. Training in the morning...knees a little sore, but felt good. Then headed down to Carlsbad to meet fellow K-pouch people. Picked up Al & Janice and headed down. We didn't stop talking the entire time. Lunch at Ruby's with everyone was great. Hearing everyone's story, giving eachother tips, what works...what doesn't. Being with people who really understand makes a huge difference. As I looked around the table we were of all ages, sizes, race. Whether we had UC, Chron's or Cancer we all ended up with this special pouch and I am fortunate to be part of that select group. I can't wait until we do this again. Until then we keep each other posted via facebook. The internet is an amazing thing. To all my KP peeps...I'm walking the half marathon for you!

Stuff

Still having the shakes...seems to be worse when I'm under a lot of stress. My stoma has had some blood draining onto my pad...I can't see anything when I'm draining so I'm thinking it's a surface issue. I think I must have an imbalance or something. Maybe i'm lacking vitamins or minerals. I need to see my primary physican. Would like to find one that knows about KP....wishful thinking huh? I am looking forward to my replacement being found soon so I can get out from under the intense pressure at work. I'm looking forward to training on sunday and meeting all the KP folks in so cal.

I really hate when I have anxiety attacks. I feel like I can't catch my breath and it usually is a sign that something is wrong. It can be anything. My boss dropped a bombshell on Wed that she was taking another position in the company...that made me sick to my stomach. I thought it was that, but aparently it's not. I was fine for a few days and now I'm having them again. I don't think it helps that we visited the tax auditor and have to do more work than we already did. That appointment really took my pouch for a loop.

This morning I wake up and all i want to do is go back to bed and sleep. Sleep away my day and hope that tomorrow will be better. I hate when I get into these depressed moods. Feels like the strength is sucked out of me an I have none left. Oddly enough this always happens when my kids aren't around. Maybe there's some corilation. My head is spinning with too many things and I just want it to stop. What is the old saying...the 2 sure things in life are death & taxes???